Or perhaps it’s not a complex, but an absolute truth.

Miriah

Through a filter on my camera phone.

I’ll be returning to the Oklahoma City metro area in pursuit of an elusive M.A. History degree. And, while I’m elated that I got into any graduate program, the thought of starting over at a new university that is significantly larger than my undergraduate university absolutely terrifies me. Just through the email communications (or lack thereof), I can tell that instead of getting straight answers from people, I’m going to have to assert myself just to get any sort of response from professors or administration.

This comes as a relief and a daunting task. At OCU,  it was hard NOT to get noticed. People, for better or worse, were genuinely interested in what you were doing, and when you did things that could get you in trouble, everyone on campus knew about it. Now, there is a sense of anonymity and a lack of personal touch that could have the potential to get an unfocused student in some serious trouble. I will definitely have to remain vigilant and assertive in my studies during the next 2 years.

Another downfall of graduate studies is the need for a legitimate job. I know the job market is awful, but people are just being rude.

Communication wise, this summer has been full of disappointments. From not hearing from employers about filled positions, Professors not writing letters of recommendation (given 2 months advance notice), not hearing from the people I’m supposed to be leasing an apartment from, and my academic advisor not responding to any of my emails, I’m getting endlessly frustrated with people and the lack of proper communication.

I have faith that most of these issues will resolve themselves and that these pre-school nerves are typical of my naturally anxious personality. If they don’t, then I will cross that bridge when it gets closer to August 22nd.

6 days until Vegas.

Miriah

But first, a quick trip to Vegas.

SaintSalieri

Yesterday was a day of spiritual revelations.

This revelation came about in the most innocuous way imaginable: driving down the highway in Oklahoma City; on the way to a birthday party for a friend.

Let me set the scene: A warm Oklahoma evening. Clayton’s 1970′s Caprice classic. Windows down, Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio. Blublockers on and friends in the seats next to me.

Driving down the highway with the wind in my hair and the sun on my face, I experienced a moment of complete oneness with the world. For that one perfect moment, life stopped, and I felt like that was exactly the moment that I needed to be in. It was almost as if I WAS the Dude.

Abide, man.

Miriah

Miriah

http://studyinginaustria.blogspot.com

Bis Später!

Miriah

On the one hand, it means that I am (barring a presentations, but let’s not think about that) done with the dang class. On the other hand though, this paper is ‘supposedly’ my magnum opus for my undergraduate collegiate career, which is a pretty big deal, so pardon me while I freak out a little.

It’s the end, and that both thrills and terrifies me. My life as of late is filled with the duality of being on opposite ends of the emotional spectrum, ranging from nervous breakdown to anger, frustration, denial and, finally: acceptance.

Miriah